Saturday, April 16, 2005

happy/sad/happy/sad/happy/sad...pick an emotion!!

I gained again, not a lot but enough for me to question what I've been doing wrong this week, not enough water, not enough fruit... not having my meals planned is probably the big one. I know that I have done a lot of exercise so it can't be that. I'm having a big "hate myself and all my fat" weekend.
Today I had a conversation with someone I loved very much, thought I was going to be with him for a long time, but recently he has been pushing me away, then being nice and then pushing again, but he still tells me he wants me in his life. Through tears I'd tried telling him what problems I see in our "friendship" I said that I couldn't constantly be pushed away anymore, I have supported him through all of his problems and I need this in return... and I walked away so I could cry like the sook I am, and when I stopped about 5 metres away from him he said..

"You can see that you've lost weight now" ?!?!

I didn't know whether to laugh or just keep crying.
I could only say "Yeah imagine what I'll look like in 6 months, thin, gorgeous and not single!" who am I trying to kid, I'll still be fat and single :(


3 comments:

Ryan said...

I stumbled across your blog, interesting. You are beautiful, don't be down on yourself, losing weight is hard enough. And as for your friend, us guys think differently to girls, he probably thought complimenting you would stop you from crying. Keep losing weight and be healthy and happy.

Rathicca said...

hi there,

I followed the links here from your email to the PCOS yahoo mailing list. Sorry to hear that you're going through a bad patch. i'm sure you will get through it like a trooper - read through your past posts and i'm sure you'll remember that you're not only gorgeous but tough too!

And what could be more ego-boosting than random guys stopping by to tell you you're beautiful?? Hmmm, maybe I'll start a blog too...

T666 said...

you need 2 be more hardcore. u goto stay focused on your goal to loose weight. pcos is making things 10fold harder than if u didnt have that, but u need to know that u will either succeed or you will fail, and the only word in your vocab will be succeed.
u have to make a comitment to that and nothing will stop you.