Friday, April 22, 2005

Ahhhh... relaxation!

The View From Our Camping Spot

On Tuesday morning, my daughters and I decided to go camping, I had had enough of feeling miserable, I needed to go bush. So we went to Barrington Tops, a place where I used to go camping a lot with my family when I was younger.
I can't say enough about how much better I feel after our little holiday. We stayed two nights, camping in our little tent, no flush toilets, no showers, no electricity, it was heaven! Barrington Tops is such a beautiful place, it makes you feel calm from the moment you start driving past Gloucester, the air changes, it's crisp and pure. When we arrived at the camping area, we pitched the tent, put our sleeping stuff inside and went for a walk to get fire wood, we started a fire and prepared our dinner, cooking a stew over a fire is heaven! and everything tastes better when you're camping. The first night was absolutely freezing, the sky was clear, the amount of stars that you can see is amazing. The next day was cold, overcast but we didn't care, just happy to be away from the world. We went for a walk around the swamp, which is a nice long walk, over creeks, fallen logs, past Kangaroos, lots of them! Then back to camp for more relaxation. A and B made friends with a kookaburra which was always near us, they sat on the ground and fed him, he was gorgeous, and he got so close to them! By about 5pm the sky went dark and it started raining, we still had our fire, we had our dinner, we made friends with other campers and we all gathered in the community shelter and made a massive fire, it was a nice evening.
Going to sleep that night was a bit scary, walking down to our tent at 10:30pm in the rain, looking over the swamp which was covered in mist was very eerie, I didn't sleep at first, listening to the rain on our tent was calming and I ended up getting 4 1/2 hours sleep. We left the next morning and slowly made our way home. I didn't want to go home, I wanted to be peaceful for a little while longer. I don't want to go back to work next week, I don't want to be at work on A's birthday (4 months off work and they want me back on her birthday!) I want to keep that calmness that we all had for a few days.
I lost a little bit of weight, only 200grams, but I don't care, I'm still relaxed :)

Monday, April 18, 2005

I feel better :)

5 Weeks without junk food!
Weight 96.3
Loss 4.7 kgs (10.4 pounds)

The whole weight fluctuation thing is very annoying. It puts me on a downer and then magically the weight goes again. I didn't lose as much weight this week as I would have liked, but any loss is a good loss.
Thank you for the comments, because they are motivational and make me feel better :)

About a month before christmas I weighed 98kgs and when I broke my elbow and wrist on Christmas day I weighed about 94kgs. I lost that weight by drinking a certain fruit juice and having a coffee in the morning, for lunch I had smoked salmon and crackers and dinner was a stir fry. I was also busy running around all day with Christmas sales (I work in retail). I lost weight but I wasn't eating well enough, fruit juice and coffee for breakfast?! not very smart. I have now been off work for 4 months due to problems with my arm, I would have liked to go back to work at the weight I was on Christmas Eve, but oh well, I'm close enough :)
Many people don't understand how easy it is for me to gain weight, I gained 7 kilos in less that 6 weeks. I couldn't drive the whole time I had the cast on my arm (it's illegal!) so we walked everywhere! I DID NOT eat junk food all day every day, the things I did wrong were never eating breakfast, hardly ever ate lunch, and then ate too much at my dizzy time of 4pm and continued to eat too much at dinner time. We did have a lot of frozen dinners and take away a few times a week because it was difficult for me to cook. The exercise we were doing should have made a difference but it didn't, then again maybe it did and I could have started the diet study at 110kgs!
The diet study has shown me how important it is to eat breakfast and eat regularly. I think my results are proof that this way of life is so much better :)
I'm not even missing junk food. On every other diet, I would still have junk food, I would always tell myself that I would "do better tomorrow" because I "really need it now" which is bulls**t. The only person I was hurting was myself, the people who weigh you in at weight watchers and jenny craig etc don't care if you gain weight, they love it because that means you'll be paying them more money for a lot longer!
Ok that's my rant for the day :)

Saturday, April 16, 2005

happy/sad/happy/sad/happy/sad...pick an emotion!!

I gained again, not a lot but enough for me to question what I've been doing wrong this week, not enough water, not enough fruit... not having my meals planned is probably the big one. I know that I have done a lot of exercise so it can't be that. I'm having a big "hate myself and all my fat" weekend.
Today I had a conversation with someone I loved very much, thought I was going to be with him for a long time, but recently he has been pushing me away, then being nice and then pushing again, but he still tells me he wants me in his life. Through tears I'd tried telling him what problems I see in our "friendship" I said that I couldn't constantly be pushed away anymore, I have supported him through all of his problems and I need this in return... and I walked away so I could cry like the sook I am, and when I stopped about 5 metres away from him he said..

"You can see that you've lost weight now" ?!?!

I didn't know whether to laugh or just keep crying.
I could only say "Yeah imagine what I'll look like in 6 months, thin, gorgeous and not single!" who am I trying to kid, I'll still be fat and single :(

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

I went walking, what did I see? nothing I was too tired!

Weight is the same... blah!
4 1/2 weeks without junk food, my poor children :) hahaha

I took my daughters to Glenrock Lagoon today, we walked and walked! Saw a rather big lizard, which was great, heard lots of birds and walked some more. It's nice walking through the bush and coming out to be greeted by a deserted beach. We had some salad sandwiches and A & B went swimming. The walk back was a bitch, it was mostly uphill and made me think that I would never ever do that walk again :)
My dad used to take us walking there when I was young, I haven't walked that track since 1988, I am so unfit. Poor B she asked me if I was going to have a heart attack, she even asked if I was having pain down my left arm! I must have looked tragic.
I wore the pedometer today, set it at 0 for the walk. I should be doing 10000 steps a day, the walk alone was 11248 steps!
B thought she would be amusing and said "Mum you should be doing this walk every day"
I didn't hurt her, I just thought about it ;)

Monday, April 11, 2005

How could I forget the yummy one?!


Wrestling and 4 weeks into the diet!

Wrestling was amazing, we had great seats and I took loads of pics! Edge and Chris Jericho, are just oh so yummy, I think I lost weight drooling over them ;)
Ok that's all I'll write about wrestling because this is supposed to be about my diet, but there are a few pics below.
It's four weeks since I started, my weight is now 96.9 (214 pounds) my total weight loss is 4.1kgs (9 pounds) The best thing is my centimetres, I've lost a total of 18.7cm!! (7.3 inches) I take measurements from my neck, chest, waist, hips and a thigh. I'm not noticing the weight loss yet. After wrestling Doug took a pic of me, and when I got the pics on saturday morning, I almost cried in Kmart, I didn't realise I was so so fat, I mean I know I'm fat, but I honestly didn't realise I was monster fat. I went out on friday night thinking I looked really good, my mirrored wardrobe is a liar!! after seeing the pic, I looked like a fatty that only a chubby chaser would want.. not feeling so gorgeous at the moment.

Rick Flair, Batista, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit


Chris Jericho


Triple H

Friday, April 8, 2005

No more sleeps til wrestling! diet study? oh yeah!

down to 97.2 kilos (214 pounds)
Lost 3.8 kilos (8.4 pounds)

I'm excited about wrestling! very excited about seeing Edge and Christian, yummy!
My eldest daughter B and I are going together, A doesn't like wrestling so she is staying with my wonderful neighbour.
We're going out to dinner before we go to the ent centre but I'm not worried about that because I know I'll eat properly. B has been complaining about the lack of junk food, so I finally told her about the blood tests, I didn't want to tell either of my daughters about the scary results, B is a very intelligent person, but telling B that I just don't want junk food because I need to lose weight wasn't working, she would tell me that I have done so well and I should treat myself etc so I told her about the tests and she doesn't ask me for junk food now. I have told her that nothing is going to happen to me because I am making the right changes to be healthy.
I started doing Winsor Pilates WOW! I feel amazing after I do pilates, the beginner pilates only takes 20 minutes, I checked the timer on my DVD player to make sure she was telling the truth and it came up 22 minutes, so 2 minutes is her talking :)
I'm still doing my walking and core ball exercises, I'm eating well and most importantly I am staying positive! I didn't let my gain effect me. I'm a new person :)

Wednesday, April 6, 2005

WRESTLING!! I am sooooo good(looking :)

I won tickets to see WWE RAW!
I am so excited about winning, strange I'm so excited because I bought tickets to Raw two months ago, BUT I still won tickets! and I am in the draw to win a front row ringside seat!!!
I think the reason I am so happy is because my life recently has been rather crap and finally something good happened. My friend Doug called to let me know that new fm (local radio station) was giving away tickets, he'd been trying to get through to win all day, he told me that the cue to call was the sound of cheering, so I waited, heard what I hoped was cheering and I called and I got through and I won first time I tried!! I had to answer a question (Doug forgot to tell me that bit) but I knew the answer and now I have four tickets! YAY!

Poor Doug :(
Lucky me :D
Two more sleeps til wrestling!

oh and weight is the same but the cms are coming off!! clothes are much looser and I am feeling so good (looking ;)

Monday, April 4, 2005

97.7kgs! 3.3 kgs in 3 weeks!

This loss is very sweet!
Before I started the diet I looked for a 'real age' test online, I found this one Real Age
My actual age is 32.6 but my 'real age' was 39.9 I really don't want to turn 40 so that was more motivation to suceed. I redid the test today and with all of the changes, I've got my age down to 34.3! :)
When I've lost all of my weight I should be back in my twenties. And I was even more gorgeous back then, so I'll be happy being 20 again ;)

Friday, April 1, 2005

98.3! But things have changed slightly

I went to see Kate my dietitian today, and I've lost all the weight I gained plus some more :)
so that's the good news..
Bad news is that some of my blood test reults aren't so good. Before I started the diet I had to have a lot of tests, I was there for a few hours to get them all done, blood glucose tests, cholesterol, etc. So anyway, I am Insulin resistant, I have high bad cholesterol (yes there's good and bad) and my arteries are inflamed, BUT I still lost weight, so there's something good.
All of the changes I have started to make to my life are going to make the next test's reults a whole lot better, I wont be insulin resistant for much longer, my cholesterol levels are going to be perfect and my arteries are going to calm down. By changing now I am hopefully going to make my life a lot longer and my children wont turn into obese people (not that I was obese when I was younger, my parents were very good when it came to feeding us, I just went a little nuts when I was able to get to maccas without my dad driving me there (which was only once a year! see.. good parents)) It supposedly takes six weeks to break a habit, so I have three more weeks of continuing the changes and I am going to be ok :)
I'm only 32 and when Kate told me the test results my priorities changed straight away, I'm not going to die young, I wont have a heart attack, I am going to lose weight to be healthy, looking hot in a bikini next summer comes second to my health.
I'm more determined than ever to lose this weight safely.