FINALLY!!

I did want to post, I kept thinking about stuff to write but I couldn't be positive when my weight was depressing me so much.
I can't believe it has taken 2 1/2 months to get below 94! I finally did it, this morning when I weighed myself I was 93.7kgs (206.5 pounds down from 222.6) I still feel like a fat cow, but I look a lot better (i think?) I fit into some sexy lingerie that I bought a few years ago ;D

Not moving the weight was making me miserable, I cried when I weighed myself, I would get to 94.1kgs and then go back up. I would exercise, continue to eat well and my weight wouldn't go lower, just higher then I'd lose a bit then go back up. I kept hearing about having a "plateau" but not for 10 weeks!
I haven't done many things differently, I stopped eating brown rice and I finally had a period (grow up most females have them) I hadn't had one since I went back to work.
Kate my lovely dietitian wont be happy when i tell her about the rice, but I felt like it was clogging me up.

I'm still single (big surprise) but I've joined a few dating sites, and I am going to do someting else, so maybe that means I am feeling better about the way I look :)

I am crossing my fingers that when I turn 33 in a month I'll weigh 90 (198 pounds) or below, I'll admit I'm scared, I don't want to have another 10 week plateau, I don't want to be big in summer, I want to go to the beach without having to be completely covered up, I want to fit into the gorgeous new summer outfits without having to buy them at 16-26, I want to buy sexy sexy sexy gorgeous lingerie and most importantly right now...I want someone special to melt every time they look at me.

So.. my weight WILL go down, and I WILL be healthy and I WILL meet prince charming, my life is looking much better :)

long time... no post

Weight 94.7kgs
Loss 6.3 kgs
CM lost= 33cm!!

I've been gone a while, I'm back at work and when I get home I just want to relax with my girls. We leave at 8:15am and don't get home until about 6:15pm, it's a long day.

My weight has been going up and down, it's been very frustrating. On April 27th my weight went up to 97, it's been going from between 94.5 up to 97 for the last few weeks, I know it's mainly because I'm not organised enough at home.

I don't feel any different, I supposedly look better, but when I look in the mirror I can't see any difference, I guess 6 kilos isn't enough for me to notice :)
One of the women I work with said that my skin is looking great. My work pants are huge! but I still wear them because I'm not going to invest in new ones until these ones fall off. I have noticed a difference in my energy levels. My job is quite physical, lots of heavy lifting and I am finding that a lot easier and I sleep better :)

Feeling a bit blah at the moment, thought I'd better update

Ahhhh... relaxation!

The View From Our Camping Spot


On Tuesday morning, my daughters and I decided to go camping, I had had enough of feeling miserable, I needed to go bush. So we went to Barrington Tops, a place where I used to go camping a lot with my family when I was younger.
I can't say enough about how much better I feel after our little holiday. We stayed two nights, camping in our little tent, no flush toilets, no showers, no electricity, it was heaven! Barrington Tops is such a beautiful place, it makes you feel calm from the moment you start driving past Gloucester, the air changes, it's crisp and pure. When we arrived at the camping area, we pitched the tent, put our sleeping stuff inside and went for a walk to get fire wood, we started a fire and prepared our dinner, cooking a stew over a fire is heaven! and everything tastes better when you're camping. The first night was absolutely freezing, the sky was clear, the amount of stars that you can see is amazing. The next day was cold, overcast but we didn't care, just happy to be away from the world. We went for a walk around the swamp, which is a nice long walk, over creeks, fallen logs, past Kangaroos, lots of them! Then back to camp for more relaxation. A and B made friends with a kookaburra which was always near us, they sat on the ground and fed him, he was gorgeous, and he got so close to them! By about 5pm the sky went dark and it started raining, we still had our fire, we had our dinner, we made friends with other campers and we all gathered in the community shelter and made a massive fire, it was a nice evening.
Going to sleep that night was a bit scary, walking down to our tent at 10:30pm in the rain, looking over the swamp which was covered in mist was very eerie, I didn't sleep at first, listening to the rain on our tent was calming and I ended up getting 4 1/2 hours sleep. We left the next morning and slowly made our way home. I didn't want to go home, I wanted to be peaceful for a little while longer. I don't want to go back to work next week, I don't want to be at work on A's birthday (4 months off work and they want me back on her birthday!) I want to keep that calmness that we all had for a few days.
I lost a little bit of weight, only 200grams, but I don't care, I'm still relaxed :)

I feel better :)

5 Weeks without junk food!
Weight 96.3
Loss 4.7 kgs (10.4 pounds)

The whole weight fluctuation thing is very annoying. It puts me on a downer and then magically the weight goes again. I didn't lose as much weight this week as I would have liked, but any loss is a good loss.
Thank you for the comments, because they are motivational and make me feel better :)

About a month before christmas I weighed 98kgs and when I broke my elbow and wrist on Christmas day I weighed about 94kgs. I lost that weight by drinking a certain fruit juice and having a coffee in the morning, for lunch I had smoked salmon and crackers and dinner was a stir fry. I was also busy running around all day with Christmas sales (I work in retail). I lost weight but I wasn't eating well enough, fruit juice and coffee for breakfast?! not very smart. I have now been off work for 4 months due to problems with my arm, I would have liked to go back to work at the weight I was on Christmas Eve, but oh well, I'm close enough :)
Many people don't understand how easy it is for me to gain weight, I gained 7 kilos in less that 6 weeks. I couldn't drive the whole time I had the cast on my arm (it's illegal!) so we walked everywhere! I DID NOT eat junk food all day every day, the things I did wrong were never eating breakfast, hardly ever ate lunch, and then ate too much at my dizzy time of 4pm and continued to eat too much at dinner time. We did have a lot of frozen dinners and take away a few times a week because it was difficult for me to cook. The exercise we were doing should have made a difference but it didn't, then again maybe it did and I could have started the diet study at 110kgs!
The diet study has shown me how important it is to eat breakfast and eat regularly. I think my results are proof that this way of life is so much better :)
I'm not even missing junk food. On every other diet, I would still have junk food, I would always tell myself that I would "do better tomorrow" because I "really need it now" which is bulls**t. The only person I was hurting was myself, the people who weigh you in at weight watchers and jenny craig etc don't care if you gain weight, they love it because that means you'll be paying them more money for a lot longer!
Ok that's my rant for the day :)

happy/sad/happy/sad/happy/sad...pick an emotion!!

I gained again, not a lot but enough for me to question what I've been doing wrong this week, not enough water, not enough fruit... not having my meals planned is probably the big one. I know that I have done a lot of exercise so it can't be that. I'm having a big "hate myself and all my fat" weekend.
Today I had a conversation with someone I loved very much, thought I was going to be with him for a long time, but recently he has been pushing me away, then being nice and then pushing again, but he still tells me he wants me in his life. Through tears I'd tried telling him what problems I see in our "friendship" I said that I couldn't constantly be pushed away anymore, I have supported him through all of his problems and I need this in return... and I walked away so I could cry like the sook I am, and when I stopped about 5 metres away from him he said..

"You can see that you've lost weight now" ?!?!

I didn't know whether to laugh or just keep crying.
I could only say "Yeah imagine what I'll look like in 6 months, thin, gorgeous and not single!" who am I trying to kid, I'll still be fat and single :(

I went walking, what did I see? nothing I was too tired!

Weight is the same... blah!
4 1/2 weeks without junk food, my poor children :) hahaha

I took my daughters to Glenrock Lagoon today, we walked and walked! Saw a rather big lizard, which was great, heard lots of birds and walked some more. It's nice walking through the bush and coming out to be greeted by a deserted beach. We had some salad sandwiches and A & B went swimming. The walk back was a bitch, it was mostly uphill and made me think that I would never ever do that walk again :)
My dad used to take us walking there when I was young, I haven't walked that track since 1988, I am so unfit. Poor B she asked me if I was going to have a heart attack, she even asked if I was having pain down my left arm! I must have looked tragic.
I wore the pedometer today, set it at 0 for the walk. I should be doing 10000 steps a day, the walk alone was 11248 steps!
B thought she would be amusing and said "Mum you should be doing this walk every day"
I didn't hurt her, I just thought about it ;)

How could I forget the yummy one?!

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