Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Weight 101 kg (222 pounds) but I'm really gorgeous, seriously!

Time for me to start a blog, every one is doing it so now it's my turn. I'm too lazy to keep a journal, I've tried, I've written about 15 pages since my birthday in 1999.
I've got PCOS- polycystic ovarian syndrome, a horrible "Chronic Disorder" that effects so many women, and is extremely misunderstood, mostly we're told to "lose weight" but because of the hormonal problems, carb addictions etc, it's quite hard.
That's the reason I'm writing this. I'm a part of a weight reducing diet study for women with PCOS. I want to keep a diary/blog of how I am going. I just started yesterday and I'm doing surprisingly well, normally I would have eaten the left over mudcake from Sunday night's last yummy food binge, I would have had a frothy full fat milk cappucino with sugar sprinkled on top cos the fluffy milk goes crunchy mmmmmm, but I haven't. I'm sticking to my diet list because I am sick of being a chubby. I've done everything, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Easy Slim, numerous drinks and pills and even Duromine, I lost a lot of weight with all of the different diet groups but I got a bit lost because I felt like I wasn't doing my best. The weigh-ins were in the evening, how can you get an accurate weight when with you've been eating meals during the day and you're fully clothed? I got to the point where I wouldn't eat during the day, I would occasionally sip water, and I would wear the same thing every week, I was getting very annoyed at having lost 200 grams or gaining 100 grams and having that marked down on my card and people sympathising "don't worry you'll lose weight next week" I couldn't really scream that I had lost weight THIS week but because I can't starve during the day and strip naked to weigh in, no one would know that I had!!!
Duromine was great, I looked gorgeous at my sister's wedding, but I went a bit nuts and was pretty cranky 90% of the time.
So now I'm doing the study, why do I think I'll lose weight this time? because I had an epiphany! on the weekend I was wondering why people who had heart attacks and type 2 diabetes etc decided that it was time to lose weight, My parent's neighbour was told that she has type 2 diabetes and she's lost so much weight and she looks fantastic...so I came up with... because they're told to either lose weight or die! I don't want to get to the point that I'm told that, I know that now, I weigh 101 kilos!! I know I'm going to die if I don't lose weight. Now there are two types of foods to me, those that will keep me alive until my time is up and those that will kill me early. Chocolate cake... murderer, Brown rice (mmmm nutty)....life giver. So if I live my life the new way and occasionally flirt with the murderer then I'm going to lose weight and that sexy girl that is hiding under 44.9% body fat is going to come out.

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