Seriously.. what were you thinking?!

BWAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Krystal Krystal Krystal,
When your makeup was taken away you showed us how naturally beautiful you really are, I can't stand you, you irritate me like a sandy crotch, and I'm enjoying seeing you fly your true catty bitch flag, but why the hell would you fuck up your pretty head with this????

I don't think anyone in the Big Brother House actually wants to say this, but I have to, sweety you look ridiculous.
The makeup.. what can really be said about the "oops shit I slipped with my eyeliner" look
the only people to pull that off were Elvira, and Agnes Moorehead as Endora oh and Cleopatra!

The hair, oh wow, the hair, set a match to it and *poof* it would be gone, and so would the house. It. just .keeps .getting. bigger.
Does anyone in the house actually like Krystal? why would they tell her she looks good.
"Oh Krystal you are so beautiful, what? no Krystal..your hair is perfect"
I would be in another room pissing myself laughing, I wish I wish I wish ..I could have seen Gaelen's face when he saw her last night.

My darling daughter B, said Krystal looked like she was trying to grow a boob out her head.. Then proceeded to call Krystal "TITHEAD" hahahaha (B loves Little Nicky)

Damn I've never criticised anyone like this before, it feels..kinda..dirty.. hehe

Google Chunky Meat Arse!! IT'S ME! No.1!!!

The fun thing about having site meter is that I can see where people are coming from. I love it! Some people use search words I would never dream of using!
I started paying attention to the search words after I saw one guy (I am assuming) google "Chunky Meat Arse"
I wasn't offended that I was number one at google, I have a chunky arse, a very sexy curvy womanly chunky arse though!
Here's a quick list of my favourites, some have made me smile, laugh and even feel sad and there's a couple that I just think "what the f**k are you on?"

1. why does my ex keep contacting me every few weeks
2. what is the sharp shooting pain down my arms when my feelings are hurt?
3. i feel fat when i'm a chunky
4. feeling gorgeous in your thirties
5. fat taunts
6. i think you are gorgeous (yes I am!!)
   
7. kicking the ball hurts my foot
8. hunter valley chocolate shop (try the chilli chocolate!)
9. homer help me jebus
10. break up with girlfriend "don't want to die alone"
11. because you're gorgeous
12. lil chunky but
13. when a guy says you are gorgeous
14. chunky but beautiful
15. gorgeous but fat
16. swim caps but don't want to be made fun of (you will be made fun of, even if it's just by your family, but if you swim with other people, you'll look just as stupid as them, so don't worry)
    
17. fat chunky good fine booty (I've got an awesome booty!)
    
18. you're gorgeous mirror

the winner is *drum roll*
19. laughing kookaburra eats obese people

Seriously, what are you smoking? what would possess any person to google those words, and why the hell do I end up at No.1!!

Btw, I'm not dead, I've just thought it best to avoid this for a while, I'm sick of complaining about my love life etc. Some interesting stuff has happened recently though, involving my boyfriend from 21 years ago when we were 12! He found me again and turned my world upside down, some good some bad, blah whatever,
I'm back and I know some people have missed me :?
p.s Steph, I hope you're ok xx

whyyyyyyyy?

why did I choose to like computers? why do I get a thrill out of watching code work? why do my daughters like telling me I'm a nerd? and why the hell do the all mighty and powerful teachers think that databases and spreadsheets are important!?!
I HATE THEM!!
I am also currently going insane hahahahahahaha

Help me Jebus!

You know when you're having a shitty day and it's only 9:45am, and all you want is either a hug or something to make you laugh, so you drive on down the road looking for anyone willing to give you a hug because you're such a sad case and you see something on the side of the road that makes you forget you're so shitty and makes you laugh and laugh and then take photos to send to friends.
This morning I had a meeting with my youngest daughter's Principal, and I left feeling frustrated because he doesn't seem to think there's a problem with a PARENT bullying a child on school grounds!!!! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE BITCH, YOU DO IT AGAIN AND THE NICE SOLICITOR I SPOKE TO TODAY IS GOING TO BITCH SLAP YOU IN COURT..MY DAUGHTER IS NOT A BASTARD HER FATHER AND I WERE MARRIED!!!! SO GAME ON MOLE!!
so anyway, as I was saying ...I was a teeny tiny bit upset and I saw this sign, if you can't read it properly it says

Trust in Jebus
He is my father!!

sooo.... I kinda lost it laughing and it felt so good :)
It was such a random thing to have a 4ft tall sign about Jebus on the side of the road, and it made me laugh so much because ever since seeing Homer running around saying "Help me Jebus", my girls and I ask Jebus for sanity, as a way to laugh, when things go AFU (that would be All Fucked Up)
Thank you to who ever made that sign :)

Mum, Dad are you reading??

Get Your Drunk Personality at LiquidGeneration.com!

Haha it's funny cos it's true!

Can't wait to go out to the old divorced people's plub this weekend :)

Spring cleaning in Autumn

I had another Epiphany. They're great, when I have one I feel like my life has new clarity and I can see things getting better. Yay for me
I realised that old simple saying "life is too short"
So I decided to spring clean my life a little earlier than spring. I am getting rid of the people in my life who bring me down, who make false promises and who make me question everything about myself. Guess what? you people suck and need to find something better to do with your lives.
To my ex-husband R, You haven't seen or contacted your daughters in 6 years even though you know exactly where they are, you think that $21 child support a month is enough. You are so lucky being able to have a cash in hand job, your dream was to make surfboards, and I am glad you are living your dream, it just shits me that you can cheat the tax department and the child support agency, most of all it shits me that you can cheat your daughters out of a father. For a special ed qualified teacher, you really don't care about children too much.
To my ex-boy Ad, you're an alcoholic, don't call me and cry about how it was only one drink, that you wont do it again, guess what I don't care, I'm sick of caring about how you fuck your life up....The surfboard is going on ebay for $1 :) ahh see I feel better already.
To Voldemort.. hey guess what dickhead, you have a girlfriend, you love her remember?, you conveniently forgot about her for a few weeks, if you don't want me to tell her about what you tried to do, then quit contacting me, there's a reason I don't answer your messages or phone calls, you're a dick of the worst kind
I wish I wasn't so fucking needy!!! I wish I was happy spending a lot of time on my own, but I crave having someone hold me and make me feel like I'm beautiful and special. I am worried i am going to jump straight into another relationship to get over the last one and that wouldn't be fair on the poor bastard that comes next.
I need to find peace within myself. I have had too many people in my life not give a damn about my feelings, I care about people too much, and now it's time for me to start caring about myself, I've said it so many times, but this time I need to do it. I never thought I would be in my thirties and single, I thought I would have the husband the 2 kids (got those and they're amazing) the house and the picket fence. I've held myself back from all the happiness that I deserve. I've believed too many people, put my faith in them and blamed myself for being so stupid. I am gullible, I know that. Maybe I thought I would be a better person by having someone love me. It's human nature to love and want to be loved.
Even though there have been people in my life, a lot of the time I've felt really alone. I guess I am scared of being alone, I don't want to die alone, and I don't want to live a life without being with my true love and I don't want to be the crazy lady with 60 cats that the kid's tell scary stories about and dare each other to come and knock on the door and then run away screaming before I throw a cat at them.

First ever fat taunt!

I've never had one before, that I've known about anyway.
Even when I weighed 101kgs, I never heard anyone make fun of me, today a kid decided it was time.
I went to my youngest daughter's school for her Easter Hat Parade, as I was walking down the stairs at the school, I saw her and she yelled at some boy.....When I asked her what happened, she said the typical kid thing "nothing" I pushed because she looked so cranky and hurt.
"A tell me what happened"
"Jordan made a fat joke"
My heart sunk, I knew it must have been about me
"What did he say?"
"Mum no"
"A...tell me"
"He went like this (she puffed up her cheeks and used her arms to make the shape of a fat person and started waddle walking... and said) I'm A's mum give me some chocolate"
Wow, I was shocked, and hurt.
Today I was feeling good about myself, I'd had a really good swim this morning, pushed myself hard and cut 5 minutes off my 1km time. I was wearing dark denim jeans that I bought in a "Normal" shop and a white top. I thought I looked good :(
I suppose what shits me so much, is the well meaning people who say "You look good" "You're not overweight" blah blah blah when it's so obvious that I AM overweight. I know this kid is only 10, but kids tell the truth.
It totally destroyed every good feeling I had about myself, stupid little shit.
Haven't I had an awesome week!! oh yeah :)